The Holidays in the City of Light

Living far away from family and friends day to day usually isn't too difficult for me. It's been years since I've been away and I guess I've kind of gotten used to it. It's not that I don't care or I don't think about those people, it's more just that I know that this is where I'm supposed to be and what I'm meant to do for the moment. Often when I'm away I'm in touch with some people more than when I'm home. Letters are exchanged, emails sent, skype dates and text messages all remind me that I'm loved and not forgotten.

Usually I can keep it together on a regular day, but around the holidays it gets a little more difficult. I've been known to break into tears at any moment around Christmas, Thanksgiving and birthdays. I've been giving many concerned looks from strangers on the street, subway, grocery store. I've been asked "what's wrong with my face" from my young students who don't understand what it means to live in an unfamiliar country during the holidays.

This year I was bracing myself for the same scenario. The weekend before the week of Christmas I still didn't have my plans figured out. I considered flying home despite my lack of funds. I thought about traveling to a new country, but didn't really feel like going alone this time. Time passed and panic started. I had no plans and I was terrified to spend the holidays alone.

As it turned out, my week started to fill up fast. The nanny was sick and so I picked up extra hours. I met up with friends for dinners, Pascaline and her mom and little sister, Anais for lunches and dinners. I wandered around the Champs d'Elysées taking in the marché de Noel like all the other tourists.

My boss offered for me to come join them on Christmas day. It would have been great to be around children while they open their gifts and get excited about all the things that adults don't really care about any more, but I just couldn't bring myself to go to work on my days off.

In the end, I went to my roommate's parents' place in a small town called Plaisir near Versailles. His brothers were there too. We watched movies and ate tons of food. His parents are Chinese Cambodians who have lived in France for like 30 years. It was interesting to eat a mélange of French traditional food served during the holidays and Cambodian dishes. I love that when his parents talk there is a mix of the languages (most of the time making it difficult for me to understand). Their family is warm and thoughtful. I felt really welcomed.

After a huge lunch Chez Sim I took the train back to Paris to meet Pascaline at her new apartment at Place de Clichy. (a hot spot for Parisian nightlife) She was just moving in and her dad and step mom were there helping her bring her stuff from the old place to the new one. Moving on Christmas day doesn't seem very festive, but I get the idea that to most Parisians Christmas isn't that big of a deal to them. Sure, the city has Christmas music playing everywhere and the grocery stores are stocked with champagne and foie gras and there are some amazing light decorations strung up, but the feeling is different. Most of my friends didn't seem that excited for the holidays and if felt more like an obligation for them. Anyway, after moving Pascaline's boxes and bed and whatnot into her place we went out for dinner with her folks. Pascaline picked the restaurant - an old style, expensive place that we see in the movies. I felt extremely under-dressed for that place, but was so happy to be there. We dined on expensive wine and a seafood plater, boeuf bourguignon and amazing mouse au chocolat and crème brûlée. I was happy to be with my French family. Over the past few months Pascaline has been there for me and I know that life would be much different if she wasn't here. I'm blessed.

The week in between Christmas and New Years flew by. My roommate Pacal and I got the apartment ready for our first party chez nous. I made 3 different desserts for our guests. Pascal bought 30 bottles of champagne. Our friends brought all sorts of different foods. There wasn't much order to the dinner, but no one cared. Everyone was in good spirits and happy to be there. After dinner was finished we pushed the tables back and danced to a mix of music from all different tastes. The party started winding down around 6am (giving me just enough time to clean up a bit and get 3.5 hours of sleep before working a 10 hour day chasing 3 year olds around.) I wouldn't have traded it in for sleep. A night that ends in dancing makes me happy. I always get my hopes up for New Years Eve. Most of the time I'm disappointed. Luckily that wasn't the case this time.

My cousin Robbyn arrives on Thursday. I'm so excited to have her here. I really should have gone to Israel to visit her while it's cold here, but she was set on coming here for the holidays. I'm going to try my best to make it to Tel Aviv to visit her before my year here is up. A lot of good stuff is to come. Although there is a lot of unknowns I'm happy about the stuff I do know about.